Not Bold, But Obedient
By Nanedi Faith, 12 min read
We started with the tough questions for Julie, right off the bat. Julie is a singer, songwriter, writer, worship leader, educator, and is currently pursuing a Master's degree in theology.
To see her work, check: www.julieyeeun.com
What do you consider an artist? When did you consider yourself an artist?
Sometimes she feels like a traditionalist where she feels an artist is someone who makes crafts, or beautiful, or unique, or revelatory things. But she thinks an artist is anyone who can express truth with craft or who has a vision into something else. Someone with a different kind of sight.
What do you hope that your art can do for others?
“At the end of the day, my biggest vision is I hope that my art can point to God. Our way of relating to the Lord, or being like him, is by being creative. That doesn't have to be in just art it can be in the way we think. I think creativity manifests in multiple ways. There is something so beautiful about creation that gives us peace and that reminds us that someone who is not loving could not have made such beautiful things. You can't get an angry person, an angry unloving God, and expect him to make mountains and valleys and flowers and stars. It's crazy to think about. “
The biggest goal is to reveal God and His love.
As a performing artist, how do you make it more about worship when you're in that moment instead of self-glorification?
We live in a society where we like to be individualistic. I've been on a long journey with "Christian pride" or just human pride. I have come to realize that I need to see my gifts and skills as if they belong to someone else.
“When people say "Hey Julie you're so great," I need to just say thank you accept it and move forward and not let it get to me. If we really believe that we are stewards and this gift comes from God, and doesn't exist in me because of me, or because I created it. But because God gave me the ability to steward it, the ability to develop it, and the ability to use it, then it's not mine. When I was able to take people's compliments or praise and see my gifts as if they belong to someone else, I felt liberated.”
God-consciousness > self-conscious
Ariel shares that, “The true place of worship is when we don't care if people see us and we don't care if they don't. Either way its not about us, we get insecure but that is also a form of pride because we are making it about ourselves. Those who love to bask in the glory are the only side of pride however both are pride when we care if people see us or care if people don't see us we make it about ourselves.”
Removing the self from the situation because worship isn't about us anyway.
Andy shares that when he first started considering himself an artist he felt the individualistic side where he didn't care if anyone liked it, he would still create it but now he is learning how to sit with God and allow God to shape how he views himself as an artist and a child of God. He realizes that he is a steward and yes he has to express but what he expresses is meant to serve others. There shouldn't be a fear of man that dictates what he creates but he wants to serve people and bring beauty to people's lives. It's not all about I have something to say so listen to me but out of wanting to serve the community. Having a servant's hearts about making stuff is important for us as believers and children of God.
The longer Julie is alive she realizes everything is about community and how she relates to the Lord.
One way people view how artists are:
1. To be their own self
2. To do things for yourself
3. To speak your truth
4. To admire
5. To be admired
6. To admire what they created
7. To be admired for being themselves
This is not how Julie sees art. She tries to view being an artist through God’s eyes not the world’s eyes.
She then talks about how, “what if God created the Earth in that way. What if God didn't care about how he created the Earth because it was for Him. What is God told us, "I don't care if you don't like it, this is for me." GOD WOULD NEVER DO THAT. The first thing God did was create a world and the world was not complete until someone of his own image there to share it with him. God walked alongside Adam to see what He made. There are times when art is still misunderstood for its time. But arts exist for the future community or for the subculture communities. She doesn't want to make her art about making her feel good. It did start off like that but eventually, she felt like her art would be useless if her art wasn't helping others have similar revelations about the Lord about joy and sadness, etc.”
Andy shares, “You can't just become on your own as an isolated individual, a wandering person and you're making art. But something about being thick of a good community makes you the person God wants you to be.”
When it comes to music what do you enjoy about it or what do you want out of it?
“Music releases dopamine and that's why we move to it and are happier when we listen to it. There is something biologically about music that controls us. Already growing up there was something that brings people together, we're all looking at the same words, listening to the same notes, and feeling the same feeling. My favorite thing is hearing corporate worship. Once you disengage from the mic and immerse yourself in the sound there is a roaring. I feel so integrated physically, emotionally, spiritually. Sometimes God uses those initial desires and feelings to get us going and along the way he refines us and shows us his true intention. Sometimes we have these dreams and it helps us take steps and along the way, God shows us if we're attuned to Him, and he refines our motives and shows us the way he wants it to look. “
What is your biggest fear about being an artist?
1. Practically I fear being poor
2. More existential level I fear failure often
3. I fear being misunderstood a lot
“I am so scared that sometimes pursuing art can be a selfish thing. The way our parents lived life is an immigrant hustle mentality. Can I afford to really sit here and write cause I feel like it? Can I afford to go to nice places cause it stimulates stories in me? Then there is this pressure that I better not fail, this better be worth it.”
"Sometimes I feel very divided between being true to myself cause I might have sight or a vision that someone else might not agree with and I want to stick to my conviction. I have been shut down by many Christians for thinking about things a certain way. I want to stick by my guns and stand my ground and say there is something to this. On the other end of the spectrum, I wonder how often I am right when everyone else is wrong or maybe I am just wrong. I can feel 110% that I am right but if everyone around me is saying I am wrong I feel that I must stop and reassess."
I live with my full self immersed in both the individualistic kind of I do see things differently and people do often misunderstand me but in addition to that, I want to let the people around me to shape me. What is the purpose of my life if I feel good about myself but I am useless to the people around me. My fear of being misunderstood is that people think I am too much of an individualist when really my heart's desire is to be useful for the people that I love. But on the other end, listening too much to other people that I lose sight of what I feel that I was born to say or born to do. This conflict is a daily battle.”
How have other aspects of who you have shaped the artist inside of you?
“I'm not sure if it's like a hand that has shaped me or if these things are just what I channel because they are fundamental to who I am. As a Korean American woman, I love sharing immigrant stories and immigrant families. The things I have experienced make me tell a certain kind of story and gives me a heart that bleeds for these ordinary experiences that feel ordinary because they happen all the time or because they happen in silence but they shape the lives of a lot of families.
--Art has the ability to open our eyes to things that we don't normally take into account.
--Art forces us to slow down and pay attention.”
What does being bold look like to you? Would you say that you're bold?
Julie says that she isn't bold. She doesn't view the topics she discusses as bold things. She is still afraid and still calculates how things can come back to hurt her. My fear is heavily eclipsed by the need for voices and the need for someone to stand in the gap whether it be about immigration or anything else, the need is too great to turn a blind eye to sometimes.
"I feel the need to speak more than I feel my fear in the moment." AMEN
So we came to the conclusion that by the grace of God she is not Bold she is Brave!
This is something that Julie has been refined in. Although she feels the need to speak her convictions, not everything she feels needs to be said. However, she discerns whether or not what she feels is a fundamental justice issue that is in the Word, and if it is she will speak up for it!
We hope you enjoyed this installment of The Bread Podcast. You can hear the full conversation by looking up “The Bread Podcast” on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. Be sure to check out our previous episodes as well!